I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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