I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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