Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
