would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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