i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
