I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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