so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
