well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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