Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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