I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
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Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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