dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize