best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Randomize
