someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
