so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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