It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
