I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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