He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
