it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
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I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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