belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
