so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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