why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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