I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
