Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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