It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize