You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
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I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
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i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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