im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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