do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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