I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
