Yo dont text me then not text me
it wasn't lemon gatorade
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
