Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize