Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
