He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
