Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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