I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
