I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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