New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
