If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
