Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
