Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
