remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
NoShamevember. You game?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
