five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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