ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
