I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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