Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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