She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
