Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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