This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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