Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
