CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry about my life...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
