You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
