I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my shit smells like andre
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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