WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
