so let's talk penis.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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