Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
