Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
