I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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