We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
